Renowned Nigerian dancer, Kaffy, has opened up about the struggles she continues to face in her personal life since her divorce. The 45-year-old entertainer revealed during a candid conversation that societal perceptions and stigmas have made it difficult for her to find love again. According to her, many men refuse to consider her for marriage simply because she is a single mother raising two children.
Kaffy expressed deep frustration at the way divorced women are treated in society, questioning why having children automatically reduces their chances of being seen as desirable partners. She noted that marriage is not a guarantee of perfection, stressing that statistics have shown that more than 70% of marriages eventually collapse. In her view, this proves that being single or “fresh” is not necessarily better than being divorced and healed.
She further explained that divorced individuals who have gone through self-reflection and healing may, in fact, make more committed and emotionally stable partners than people who have never been married. Kaffy argued that love should not be built on superficial feelings like “butterflies in the tummy,” which she described as a trauma response. Instead, she insisted that true love should bring peace, stability, and a sense of security, not anxiety or fear.
Sharing some of her experiences, the dance queen revealed that she has been judged harshly by people who themselves have struggled with failed marriages or separations. She said, “99% of the people that criticize me about my marriage are either not married today or have left their marriages. What makes you think that a woman that has been divorced is not even the better candidate if she has worked on herself?”
Kaffy went on to reflect on her personal healing journey, admitting that she has spent the last 10 years working on rebuilding herself emotionally and mentally while raising her children. Despite the stigma, she maintained her sense of responsibility and discipline, pointing out that she does not live recklessly or engage in casual relationships. “I know how responsible I am as a woman. I don’t sleep around. I don’t do casual stuff,” she said.
The dancer also revealed how some people have mocked her, claiming she “used” her ex-husband to have children through IVF. She dismissed such narratives as unfair and misleading, emphasizing that she worked hard to keep her marriage together but eventually had to choose peace for herself and her children. Kaffy described the emotional toll it took on her, saying she is still healing but is determined to remain strong and purposeful.
She also used her platform to encourage others to rethink their perception of divorced women, reminding society that failure in marriage does not define a person’s worth. Instead, what matters most is the growth, healing, and lessons learned from those experiences. For her, love must be about peace, respect, and security rather than external judgment or societal pressure.
Her words …
“I’ve had somebody tell me because I’m a single mother, I can’t even think about dating me because I have two children. 99% of the people that criticize me about my marriage are either not married today or have left their marriages. What makes you think that a woman that has been divorced is not even the better candidate If she has worked on herself, what is the guarantee that the two single people today are not both going to be divorced people tomorrow? Because why are people feeling like, I need to marry him fresh and I need to marry her fresh. But both of you are going into the same data that the world has computed for you. There are over 70% of marriages crashed. You are part of the 70%. There’s just so many stuff. Do you know that a lot of butterfly in the tummy is a trauma response? Real love brings peace, not butterflies. Real love is not supposed to make you anxious. You shouldn’t be with… I can imagine Daddy Freeze now, as he’s here now, and he’s thinking about what taste buds is doing in the house. He’s at peace. I’m still healing from those anxious feelings because of the moment I feel like I killed this I’m like, why would you do this to me? I’m 45, but I’ve spent the last 10 years of my adult life trying to fix it. My children were looking at us and I’m like, go. If you have to leave. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. You think I’m irresponsible? I know how responsible I am as a woman. I don’t sleep around. I don’t do casual stuff. I heard even the, after I used him, his youth, after I used him to collect children, my IVF champion, because I don’t understand…”
Watch video below …
‘Nobody wants to marry me cos I am a single mother of two’ – Kaffy pic.twitter.com/itTbltUqlt
— Dami’ Adenuga (@DAMIADENUGA) August 17, 2025